Private Video Entry, 30.7.113 - Moving Day

Morwen appears to be resting on her back on one of the couches in the living room of her quarters on her carrier as the camera drone begins recording. She's wearing little more than a mottled green tank-top and matching shorts; given the unkempt state of her hair, she seems to be in a rather lazy mood.

Two years.

That's about how long Goinard has been the primary base of operations for whatever corpoation I've been with. First with the Ghosts, then with Veto.

Something flickers outside of the camera drone's view. It turns, then focuses on a projection of a station for a moment before returning its attention to Morwen.

Goinard IV - Moon 5 - Impro Factory.

VETO's home station since before I got my capsuleer license.

For the last couple of months, we've been on an extended trip to Syndicate to fly with some friends of the directorate, Rote Kapelle. I've known a few of their members for a while; mostly the Nihil family who used to run the Three Sisters bar in Jel. I think the place is closed now, which is a bit of a pity, given how fun it used to be. Would've been nice to take Reppy there at some point, but it's probably a little too late now, even if not for her busy schedule.

The corp took surprisingly well to being stationed in nullsec. Even me. It was... very different from what we were used to, but at the same time, it wasn't different at all. Maybe it was just the subconscious feeling that we had more wiggle room out here. That, a few lingering rules and regulations aside, we weren't bound at all by anything CONCORD had to say.

So a few weeks ago, Ethan made the decision to move us out here properly.

I guess it was a foregone conclusion that it would happen, really. That and my security status recovering, which may have been more of a side effect of getting myself burnt-out on combat sorties. When we came out here, I dived into them left and right. If there was something going on when I was around and awake, I was participating. I suppose I overdid it, because now I can barely stand the memory of what using warp scrambling modules feels like. Probably a good thing, given the amount of time I spend in highsec these days.

But... oddly, the time spent away from the corp hasn't really reduced my stress levels. Stopped them from going higher for the most part, yes, but it hasn't really reduced it any. Over the last two weeks, Nation has launched a steady assault across the area of space I now consider "home". First Sib, and Nohshayess two weeks ago, and Amdimmah this past week. Reppy and I had originally been planning to take that week off, but when Nation showed up on our doorstep, I couldn't deal with the feeling that they were right there and I was doing nothing about it.

So I fought. I spent the entire week in space, cleaning the infestation out of my home. In the end, I was there in Bukah when we took down the Revenant-class supercarrier that was the remote "brains" behind the operations in the Nohshayess constellation. Apparently I'd managed to do enough damage to be considered among the top ten pilots who contributed to the effort that week. It felt... kinda good, I admit, but... still awkward, coming from CONCORD of all people.

But that was last week... and now I'm here in TXW again, waiting for the call to go get into my capsule so we can get this show on the road. I won't say I didn't enjoy my time in Goinard. I really did, for the most part; it was a great place for a number of reasons, and I learned a lot while living there, but... I just can't stand lowsec anymore. I can't stand being an outlaw anymore.

There's another flicker, and the camera drone turns briefly once more to focus on another projected image of another station.

TXW-EI VIII - Moon 8 - Aliastra Retail Center.

Veto's (sort-of) new home, and my home-away-from-home.

That's not exactly kept me a ton of friends within Veto, but to be honest, I never had many in the corporation to begin with, outside of the Ghosts I came here with. Some of the newer people I'm familiar with - Evangeline, in particular, from the modeling contest the other month - and I've made a few friends with some of the other old-timers, like Nadia and Rathera, but... I don't know.

I'm feeling less and less like Veto as a whole is my family, and more of a job that I just want to go home from. Some of them I consider family, sure... Kimmy and the other Ghosts, Kyoko, Demetri, a few others... even Inara, to some extent, despite all the shit we've put each other through... but most of the rest of the corp? No, they've not really given me the "family" vibe. Not the kind that I can relate to and feel comfortable and safe with.

Do I trust them to have my back in space? Absolutely, and I would hope they'd trust me in the same way. But outside of the capsule? No. I don't trust very many of them outside of the capsule. I have a hard time trusting people who are more interested in ISK and profit at the expense of everything else.

Maybe I'm really not cut out to be a pirate anymore. Maybe I never really was to begin with. Hilen Tukoss and the Arek'jaalan Project have entrenched that idea more firmly into my mind than anything else has lately. It's like the opportunity to be in the Accord again, only this time the potential of the project isn't wasted on a fool like Julianus Soter. We actually have the manpower and minds necessary to make something out of the project, if we can keep it alive long enough to properly get on its feet and learn to walk. I dread to think of what will happen if Venal decides to have Ethan interfere with the project. I don't know what I'll do. Whatever it is, it isn't likely to make people happy.

Things at home have been... awkward, may be the right word for it. Reppy can tell something's bugging me as she usually can, but she's having as much trouble asking me about it as I am with being able to just tell her.

But it's hard to bring it up with her. Last time it even got referred to, she laughed it off as if it were a joke - and she was the one who even brought it up in the first place. I know she wasn't laughing at me, but it still hurt. It hurt a lot then, even if I didn't let on. And it still hurts now, as does the thought of getting the same reaction when trying to bring it up seriously.

This is just going to get messy when it does come up eventually - and it will come up at some point, I'm just not sure when - and I'm not really looking forward to it. Unfortunately it isn't something I can just swallow and go back to ignoring it like some other things. It's going to eat at me until it gets dealt with, and at this point it's just a question of which one of us is going to make the first move.

Morwen sighs, then opens her mouth to continue; a soft buzzing noise interrupts, however, and she turns her head towards its source - the door.

... Wonder who that is. Guess I'll have to finish this another time. End recording.

The camera drone deactivates.

Private Video Log, 3.7.112

Morwen sits at her desk again, a tired and defeated expression on her face, her eyes damp. She's wearing what appears to be an old Ghost Festival dress uniform, but the sleeves are missing, revealing two long, uncomfortable-looking gashes on her arms, one on each arm; they appear to have been treated, but there is still a large amount of dried blood smeared on her skin around the cuts.

Things didn't go exactly as we'd planned. We got to Curse, and met with the Dominations representative, got what we wanted... but as we were leaving the meeting... I don't know what happened exactly. We were heading back to the main part of the station on one of the elevators, and then I woke up in a cell with her, elsewhere.

Morwen rubs one of her arms carefully, her fingertips gingerly tracing the long wound.

They... it was Blooders. Using us for their sick, twisted rituals. They took me out once, cut up my arms and made me bleed into this... this pit... when they brought me back to the cell, Reppy was gone. I don't know how long I was in that cell after that, but... eventually help came. Masque, Kimochi, Ms. Alterana, even Andrastus was there. They got me out of the cell, and we tried to find Reppy, but... when we did...

She pauses, biting her lip gently before continuing.

When we did, she was just a hologram. Pretending to be one of them. Or maybe she wasn't pretending. I don't know. She... she called herself "Cruoris." Another personality, maybe... but... she escaped before we could catch her, and tried to kill us by destroying the station with us on it. We made it out, but just barely... and before she disappeared, she sent me a message...

A recording begins to play, Reppy's familiar voice sounding from somewhere off-camera.

I love you, Morwen...

The recording cuts out, and Reppy's voice is silenced, replaced by an artificial, somewhat disinterested "error, transmission interrupted" from the ship's computer. Morwen manages to choke back a small sob and wipes her eyes.

That's it. That's all she could send before... before I don't know what. That message is all we have to go on. Masque's doing what she can to track her, but... she's not stupid, if she doesn't want to be found...

A soft Gallentean voice speaks, tone firm.

We are not talking about someone like Miss Terranova, Morwen. Yes, Repentence is clever, intelligent and resourceful when she wants to be, but she lacks experience. She will make a mistake eventually... and I'm not quite sure that she doesn't want us to find her. It will take time.

Morwen sighs, nodding to herself.

Yeah, I guess so... I'm still worried about it though... scared, even. If... when we do catch her, if we have to force her into the new clone we've prepared for her the hard way...

The Gallentean voice speaks again.

We will have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Another nod from Morwen before she replies, her voice hesitant and unsure.

Just... if we do, I want to do it. It should be me, not... not some random other person. It needs to be me. I just don't know if I can do it.

There is something that sounds like a sigh from the other voice in the room, then it speaks once more.

That may be out of our control. Go take a shower and get some sleep. I'll wake you if anything important comes up.

Morwen sighs another time, nodding defeatedly.

Alright.

She stands up slowly, then reaches over and turns off the recorder.

Private Video Log, 24.6.112 - A Tense Holiday

Morwen is seated at a desk in a room that appears rather small, but distinctly Caldari in decor. She is wearing what appears to be a red variant of her usual loose-fitting Intaki robes. Out in the corner of the holorecorder's vision a bed is partially visible, as is what appears to be part of a body-shaped lump under the sheets.

So, once again, I'm down in Curse. At least this time it's on personal business, but... that's not really much of a reassuring thought given the reason for it.

She gives a small glance in the direction of the bed before continuing.

Reppy's problems have been getting worse, and while we can't fix them outright, Masque has come up with what should at least act as a stopgap measure and provide her with a stable point to get better from, instead of her continuing the downward spiral her body and mind have been suffering through lately.

Morwen sighs, then takes a small sip of water.

That... virus... over time, it's caused a lot of damage to her implants, and some brain damage on top of that. Unfortunately... this has carried over to her other clones, so a jump isn't even an option to fix things or stall for time. We need to get her a new clone, but that requires acquiring a fresh, untainted tissue sample with which to grow a new clone... and of course, new implants. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, in fact it'd be rather easy to do, but...

Another sigh, but when she continues, her voice is lower, with a slight hint of anger and frustration.

... But it isn't, because when she started working for PRELI, the Cartel decided that it would take possession of those samples. Which is why we're down here. I have to go Utopia and convince them to give me a fresh sample so that Masque and I can grow her a new clone. Right, because they'll just let me waltz in, ask for the sample, and waltz right back out with it. Me, the one who they didn't like to begin with, and now technically flies with a Gurista-aligned organization.

Another voice, soft but distinctively Gallentean, speaks from off-camera.

No, she'll be there. You get to sit and look pretty while she does the talking. Shouldn't be too hard, even for you.

Morwen rolls her eyes at the voice before continuing again.

Right, very funny, Ash... anyway. I can't exactly say I'd be comfortable with someone being able to hold something like that over me. It's far too easy to abuse or take advantage of. Capsuleers are effectively immortal, yes, but that only lasts as long as nobody fucks with the cloning process or equipment. It doesn't take much at all to take a capsuleer out of the picture permanently, and I refuse to let that happen to either of us, but... well, I guess Reppy didn't really have much choice in the matter. It'll be something to talk about when we get home.

Her expression softens as she looks over towards the bed for a moment, fingers idly playing with a pair of rings dangling from a small golden chain around her neck.

I know she says it's okay and that it's not my fault and I should stop blaming myself for it, but I still feel horrible about how it took me until just a month or so ago to realize how I really felt, and that I'd been wasting time chasing after something that could never work when I already had everything I wanted and needed sitting right there in front of me. I should have realized it so much sooner, but I was too stubborn to let it sink in, even with everything that everyone was telling me.

Another sip of water, and a small smile. A soft rustling noise comes from off-camera, and the lump on the bed moves a little. Morwen smiles again, lowering her voice again so as not to wake up her slumbering companion.

But I know now. I love her, and would do anything for her to make her happy and keep her safe... it's why we're here in Curse, it's why I've stuck with her through all of the hells she's been through over the last several months... it's why I'll still be there for her when this is all over and done with. Reppy has been, is now, and will be my first priority in life, for as long as she'll allow it. I am happy, with her, being by her side... and I wouldn't trade that for anything. She's everything I ever wanted or needed from someone else... I can only hope that I can be the same for her.

She closes her eyes, still smiling.

Anyway, we'll be here for a while after we get Reppy her new clone; Myrhial had been planning a trip down here that I'd intended on tagging along for, so once she and the others are down here we'll probably be down for another week or two. They should be arriving in a week or so, so it shouldn't be too long before we have compa--

Without warning, a pillow flies into view and smacks Morwen in the face. She breaks into a fit of giggles as Reppy speaks from out of view with a voice full of sleepy, playful severity.

Morrrwennn, as if it's not bad enough that you're hauling me halfway across the galaxy, you're now ignoring me for a machine. Snuggle me, dammit.

Morwen throws the pillow back in the direction it came from, a "Yes, mistress" barely intelligible through her giggling as she reaches over and shuts off the recorder.

Private Video Log, 9.9.111 - Bookmarks

Morwen appears in front of a metallic green background, her shoulder-length hair down and appearing slightly damp. She looks intently at and around the camera, her hands out of view on either side of the lens' field of vision, presumably interacting with the camera drone's physical controls. The colors flicker a little and the image goes a little out of focus for a moment, but then they right themselves. She tilts her head a little, then nods slightly to herself, pushing the drone away just a bit before stepping back a few meters herself, giving the camera a full view of its current interest. Morwen is dressed in a black podsuit mottled with patches of a green color several shades greyer than whatever is behind her.

Family.

One of those things that everyone should have, even if not in a literal, but a more figurative sense. Even better if you can get both, right?

I've found the latter, here in Ghost Festival.

She laughs.

Well, not here per se, we're based in Goinard with Veto, not all the way up in Duripant where I am now. But I've only been here barely a day, and I already feel more welcome here than anywhere else I've ever been. Most of my closest friends -- Family, now -- are here. Ama, Aria, Inara, Kimochi, Reppy... and of course, Lilly.

A small smile crosses her face as the last name leaves her lips.

I know I probably gush about her enough as it is, but I can't help it. Sure, we might be going through a bit of a rough spot right now thanks to that horrifically stupid mistake of mine a couple weeks ago, but I'm infinitely happier having her by my side than I would be without her. I love her, and I don't know what I'd do without her; I can't even imagine life like that anymore.

Morwen sighs a little, then moves a bit, running her fingers against the object in the background. The camera drone adjusts its focus and floats backwards a bit, giving a better view of what turns out to be a Velator-class frigate held securely in dry-dock. Morwen's expression shifts, towards something that appears to be more thoughtful as her fingers run along the edge of a small nameplate on the side of the ship, the word "Melian" clearly readable on the plaque.

It's been over a year since I last flew the Melian. I've been keeping it in Couster for the last year, just to keep it safe. Today I moved it back here to Duripant, where I started my journey as a capsuleer over a year ago in mid-June. Every graduate from the capsuleer training program was given one as a gift... hence its name: "Dear Gift." I've treasured this ship, like all of the others from my early days. And now that I'm moving on from the Accord, to my new Family... I'm closing one chapter of my life, and starting a new one.

Morwen smiles again, her fingertips idly tracing the lettering on the nameplate as she continues.

But it's impossible to bury the past, to leave it behind you permanently. It's part of you, it changes who you are, changes who you can and will be. This is where I started my journey, and what I started it with... and so I will leave the Melian here, so that it may serve as a bookmark of sorts to that part of my life, for whenever I want to remember and revisit it.

A soft pinging noise suddenly starts from somewhere behind the camera drone, causing Morwen to look over. She blinks, then walks over to the source of the noise -- her datapad -- the camera drone panning and refocusing to follow her as she moves. She picks it up and reads it, then smiles a little, shrugging to herself.

Looks like I'm being called back for a roam... I'll just barely be able to make it on time if I hurry.

Morwen laughs a little to herself as she pockets the datapad and walks over to the drone, grabbing it carefully and fiddling with the controls once more, her expression not doing much to hide how unfamiliar she is with the drone's systems.

Now how am I supposed to turn this thing off again? Maybe this switch is the ri--

The video and audio feeds cut out.